Let's Misbehave Read online

  Though his feelings for Gabrielle had never been simple. They were as mixed-up and as complicated as she was.

  He buried his face in her hair, breathing in her enchanting scent. Since he’d met her, she had coloured his entire existence. She had brought him to life in ways he could not have imagined.

  It was not just passion she’d awoken in him but a sense of joy. For ten years he’d let grief wrap around him, like a hard shell. As though it wasn’t just Will who had died, but as though a part of him had died, too. All he’d seen was the senselessness of it all. With Gabrielle, he had begun to see once again the beauty and the good in the world, the sunsets and the warm rich scents of summer, music and laughter.

  “Promise me one thing,” he said. “Promise me you’ll do these things we’ve talked about and visit these places.” So that even if he was trapped here in cold, grey London, behind a desk in Westminster, ensnared in a loveless marriage, at least he would know she was enjoying the freedom he could not have. So that she could find happiness, because right now he wanted nothing more for himself than Gabrielle’s happiness.

  “I promise. And I also promise you that I will think of you always.”

  He gripped her arms and kissed her, his mouth crushing hers with all the ferocity of his desire. Her hands were in his hair. Her hips pressed against him, and she kissed him back with all the passion and fire of their first kiss, her tongue tangling with his.

  At last he pulled away, shaken, vaguely aware that they were on a public road, in full view of the evening river traffic. Once again, the rest of the world had ceased to exist when she was near.

  “I think it’s time I take you to your surprise,” he said, his voice rough. “To the place that will be ours and ours alone.”

  ***

  They walked back the way they had come, but instead of climbing the stairs to his front door Sebastian led her across the street and into the garden square encircled by high railings.

  He opened the gate with his private key, setting his hand against the ‘residents only’ sign to push it open. Despite the sunlight still slanting down between the trees, the park was deserted.

  In a secluded corner of the park, concealed among shrubs and an overhang of trees, they found a picnic blanket laid out. On one side sat a hamper and pink champagne in a bucket of ice.

  “How did you arrange all this?” she asked, astounded.

  “I didn’t. My valet arranged everything.”

  But not without instructions. Sebastian had gone to a great deal of thought to make this night memorable. No one had ever gone to such effort for her. For a moment she considered bolting, terrified by what that might mean.

  No, the least she could do was not spoil his surprise. She sat down on the picnic blanket and breathed in the scent of jasmine, rich in the heavy summer air. He popped the champagne cork and poured the bubbling froth into two crystal goblets, then handed one to her and raised the other in a toast.

  “To having fun,” he said.

  “To freedom.” She raised her glass in toast, then downed the liquid.

  In truth, she had never felt less like celebrating her freedom. In the short time she had known Sebastian she had begun to imagine what life might be like as someone’s wife. For the first time, the idea held appeal. And the thought of Sebastian losing his freedom to a loveless marriage was enough to make her feel ill.

  He opened the picnic basket and removed white porcelain plates and an appetising selection of food: fresh chunky bread, cream cheese, thick slices of ham, and bowls of raspberries bathed in thick, clotted cream. He topped up her glass with more champagne.

  Gabrielle savoured the food. In Sebastian’s presence all her senses felt heightened. The scent of the summer’s evening was intoxicating, and the meal tasted better than anything she had enjoyed before. Even the sultry breeze that rustled the leaves about them seemed to whisper secrets.

  “I feel as though I know you so well.” He raised a raspberry to her mouth, rolling it softly over her lips. The sweet juice moistened her lips, and she darted out her tongue to taste it. “And yet I know so little about you. Tell me how you became a singer.”

  “When I arrived in London, I had only enough for a month’s rent. I answered an ad Marsha placed in the newspaper for a flatmate. We hit it off, and she got me a job dancing at a club. Then I got lucky. The manager discovered I could sing and gave me a break. I haven’t looked back since.”

  “Do you enjoy it?”

  “I love it. And the money doesn’t hurt.”

  “Singing pays well?”

  “Very well.”

  “Tell me about your family.”

  She stretched out on the blanket, rolling onto her stomach, breaking eye contact with Sebastian. She never talked about her family. The rich scent that wove around them, combined with the heady delights of the champagne, filled her with an incredible lightness.

  “I loved my father.” Her voice floated soft and dreamy on the night air. “He was so much fun to be around. Full of laughter and energy.”

  “Like you,” he said.

  “Like me.” The unaccustomed sting of tears against her eyelids surprised her. She blinked them away. “It was only after he died that we learned of his debts. He had gambled away a fortune, leaving Mother and me with nothing. My uncle took us in. He was kind, but my mother would never let me forget that we were the poor and unwanted relations.” That I was the unwanted one.

  No amount of time or distance had been able to dull the stab of pain. Her mother had spent a lifetime resenting her for having her father’s love. The love he’d never had for his wife. Gabrielle had seen first-hand the cancer that grew from a loveless marriage.

  “As soon as I was old enough I left.” She remembered that first thrill of being alone and independent, daring to do everything that her mother forbade. In the whirlwind of music and wild parties she’d buried the fear that she would never be loved again.

  “Where is your mother now?”

  “She lives quietly in a cottage in the country. I send money home every month, but she won’t spend a penny of it. She’d rather live on bread and tea than take my dirty money. The devil’s wages, she calls it.”

  Sebastian lay down beside her on the blanket. He rolled her towards him so he could see her face. “Then she doesn’t know the wonderful, brave, strong, entrancing woman you’ve become.”

  Years of doubt and insecurity melted away in the warmth of his eyes. Her heart hammered against her ribs, turning her breathless.

  Looking into his eyes, she wondered if he could see the love shining in hers. No one made her feel as Sebastian did. And he was the one man she could not have. Not without breaching his honour, and that would tear him in two.

  As the sky between the boughs above them darkened, they lay side by side, hands clasped. The noise of the city faded away, falling into slumber. For years, Gabrielle had surrounded herself with music and voices and activity. She could not remember the city ever being this quiet. She listened to the song of a distant nightjar.

  “Do you feel the magic?” she whispered.

  She wished she could capture the moment and never let it go. But perhaps this enchantment was only possible because of the brevity of their affair. Their passion burned brighter only because it could not last.

  Every moment more she spent with Sebastian made it harder to tear herself away. She had to be strong. She had to leave him. Tonight. Before this madness that consumed them both drove them into folly and discovery. Before she ruined both his reputation and his engagement, and before anyone else could be hurt.

  It was not a noble sacrifice. It was self-preservation. Any more time with him and her heart would be broken beyond healing.

  High above them a star shot across the sky.

  “Make a wish,” Sebastian urged.

  Gabrielle closed her eyes for a brief moment.

  “What did you wish?” he asked. His blue eyes shone in the moonlight, alive with all the energy and misc
hief she had once hoped to see there.

  “If I tell you, it won’t come true.” She jumped to her feet. “I want to dance.”

  In her head, she heard the music. She swung her hips, slow and sensual, caressing her breasts as she danced. She twirled before him, allowing her skirt to flare up around her, teasing him with a glimpse of her pale thighs. He lay back and watched, eyes darkening with desire. Her power over him exhilarated her.

  She hummed a light-hearted ballad, and as she hummed, she slowly slid her dress from her shoulders and let it drop at her feet. She kicked it towards Sebastian.

  She swayed in the moonlight, inching her chemise up over her shoulders. Then she removed stockings, garter belt and knickers, and stood naked before him, delighting in the caress of the summer air on bare skin.

  She had taken many risks before, had behaved with a wanton disregard of the rules but never before had she stripped in a public place. Had never guessed how arousing it could be. A slow, delightful ache swelled between her legs.

  Sebastian lifted himself onto an elbow.

  “Come here,” he said, voice rough. “I want you.”

  “Here?” She glanced over her shoulder, through the dark shadows of the trees to the row of houses beyond.

  “Yes. Here.”

  She hoped none of his neighbours chose this moment to venture out. The thrill of discovery also heightened her arousal. Her core muscles clenched, moist and hot with need.

  “I’ve created a monster. What happened to that lovely, well-mannered gentleman I took to bed yesterday?”

  His eyes glinted. “He’s bewitched.”

  He rose in one fluid movement, stripping off his clothes to stand naked beside her. The moonlight cast a glow across his skin. He wrapped her in his arms and they moved together, skin against skin, dancing to the melody she hummed.

  Slowly, inexorably, they sank to the ground. He laid her on her back, running his hands over her curves, stroking, admiring.

  She moaned aloud, knowing the sound of her pleasure would stir him to greater daring. With his knees, he pushed her legs apart and slid down her body. She gasped. His tongue entered her, flicking, exploring, tasting. She mewed like a kitten and arched her back, her body aching with need.

  “More. I want more,” she panted.

  His tongue still lapping at her clit, he fondled her with his fingers, slowly sliding them into her, first one finger, then two, gradually delving harder and deeper. Her breath came in short gasps. She was so close to losing control. His eyes met hers, and she knew he was almost as far gone as she.

  Days ago, she had wanted to see him lose that careful control. She had wanted to be the one to remove all his barriers and bring him to this place. And she had. Many times over. Still it was not enough. She wanted more. She wanted all of him, even the parts that were not hers to take.

  “Now.” Her voice sounded fierce, urgent to her ears, filled with all the longing in her soul.

  He straddled her, thrusting into her with a need as feverish and desperate as her own. His hard flesh slid smooth and hot against her slick tunnel. She rocked her hips into him, grinding, wanting, her voice a rising purr of pleasure. He fondled her breasts and her moans became cries, her voice calling out her pleasure and her pain.

  All thought was obliterated as he exploded inside her, taking her with him over the edge and into darkness.

  Afterwards, they lay together, spent, naked bodies entwined.

  The low, harmonious whistle reached them first, then the sound of slow, measured footsteps. She stiffened. The only person abroad at this time of the night would be a bobby, doing his rounds.

  “Don’t move.” Sebastian’s voice was scarcely more than the touch of breath on her cheek, but his eyes were alive with laughter and mischief.

  She’d got what she wanted but had lost a part of herself in the process. For in that moment her heart fractured, and a piece of it became his.

  ***

  Entranced by her dark eyes, Sebastian wondered how he had ever thought her cold and mercenary. The hardness, the frivolity, was simply a glaze over the top that hid the pain beneath.

  He could see beyond her eyes now. He understood the yearning that drove her, her desire to be loved. And he loved her.

  He loved her because she was beautiful and challenging and fragile. With her energy and her vivacity, she reminded him that he was alive and that he could be happy.

  Never before had he wanted to be so selfish. Will had been the selfish one. He had been daring, impulsive, fearless, leaving Sebastian the role of the dutiful son.

  Sebastian had followed in the path his father set before him, believing it the only way to fill the emptiness inside, when what he’d really wanted was the life Will had lived, full of spontaneity and joy. The life he could have with Gabrielle.

  He wanted to be selfish, but he would not be. It was too late for that. Though Gabrielle was right, and his bonds were self-imposed, he was not going to break through them all.

  Even if he could be sure Gabrielle felt the same, he would not desert Lilly a week before her wedding. He would never forgive himself if he left a good woman open to society’s ridicule. His guilt would drive a wedge between him and Gabrielle, and their love would forever be tainted. He couldn’t do that to her. It would be better for Gabrielle to believe he had never loved her, that he merely desired her, rather than for her to once again know what it was to be abandoned by those who should have loved her.

  When he felt her hands cool against his skin, encircling him, drawing them closer so he could feel her heartbeat against his chest, he knew he was right.

  ***

  Gabrielle lay against him, feeling the even rise and fall of his breathing against her back. She was unable to sleep, not wanting to waste a single moment. There would be time enough for the sweet oblivion of sleep when she left him.

  She watched the morning fog roll in from the river, shrouding the streets and muting the sounds of the waking city. She twisted in his arms to look at him. Even in sleep, his face held strength and character. She etched every line of his face in her memory. She should wake him, before the cold light of dawn filtered through the haze, risking their discovery. She should, but she could not. She could not face the awkwardness of a new morning and the inevitable goodbye.

  She shifted away from him, breathing in the scent of him. The perfume of their lovemaking lingered on his skin. She felt raw, both physically and emotionally.

  It was time to go. She stood, careful not to disturb him, and reached for her clothes, dressing quickly and quietly. Then she stood at the edge of the blanket and looked down. How changed he seemed from the serious, unhappy man she had first met. She smiled.

  “I love you, Sebastian.” Then she turned and walked away.

  Chapter Six

  The high-backed chair was narrow and unyielding. Sebastian tried to settle himself more comfortably as he waited for Lilly to make her appearance, and listened to the mantel clock tick away the seconds. Its rhythm echoed in the empty drawing room that smelled of dried flowers and beeswax polish and reminded him of his grandmother’s parlour and of having to be on his best behaviour.

  At last the door swung open. His fiancée looked curvier than he remembered, soft and appealing with her curling fair hair and pink cheeks.

  In contrast to Gabrielle, her sweetness and innocence seemed suddenly child-like. For how long would he compare every other woman he met to Gabrielle?

  He forced a smile and rose to greet her, taking Lilly’s cool gloved hand in his and bowing over it. She blushed prettily.

  “I am sorry to have rushed you,” he said. “I’m early. Are you ready to leave, or would you like more time?”

  “I’m ready to leave, but would you perhaps like to sit and talk for a moment?”

  He nodded and waited for her to take a seat. She chose the loveseat, and he had no option but to sit beside her.

  “It’s been a while since you’ve visited,” she said.

&nbs
p; “I’ve been busy.” He evaded her eyes. Then, because he already felt guilty enough without adding bad manners to the mix, he took her hand in his.

  Absolutely nothing. No electric shock. Not even the tender affection he felt for his sister. Hopefully that would come with time, when he knew her better.

  He might as well start getting to know her now. Racking his brains for something to say, he could only think of the most innocuous of subjects. “Are the wedding preparations coming along well?”

  Clearly it was a good choice. Lilly’s baby blue eyes sparkled as she began a lengthy discourse on the wedding arrangements. He struggled to keep up. When at last the subject had been exhausted they sat in silence.

  “And the honeymoon?” she asked in a small, shy voice, her eyes firmly fixed on his hand in her lap, still awkwardly holding hers.

  “We will spend a couple of weeks in the country, at my parents’ home.”

  The manor would one day be his. His mother had insisted they honeymoon there. Lilly was a city girl, born and bred, and he had no doubt his mother planned to start Lilly’s training in the art of being the lady of the manor. And he would be expected to go hunting and fishing with his father and the other local gentry. The thought appalled him. He found the quiet and boredom of the country suffocating. Fleetingly he imagined taking Gabrielle home. He doubted country life would be dull with her in it.

  “Would you mind if I ask you an intimate question?” Lilly’s voice had taken on a breathless quality, and she finally dared to raise her eyes to his.

  He shifted uncomfortably. “Yes, of course.”

  “When we are married, will we travel?”

  That was her idea of an intimate question? He hated to imagine the trepidation with which she’d face their marriage bed. And of course that thought brought forth a hundred images: of Gabrielle in his bed, of Gabrielle who wasn’t afraid to voice her desires, of her naked body lit by the moonlight…

  He cleared his throat, but his voice still sounded rough. “I am sure we will. Do you like to travel?”